ABOUT ME

In my early 20s I fell into an abusive relationship with a fraudster. That relationship rocked my world – I developed severe trauma behaviours. I lost trust in people and the world-in-general and was bankrupted after having my apartment and savings taken. At one point I had to go on the run to avoid the people chasing my abusive ex-partner who then extended their death threats to include me and my family. This led to me to fleeing to the other side of the country and living in my car. I had no money and needed to shower in public toilets in the middle of winter for several months. To this day I continue to work through and metabolise the trauma I picked up from that time in my life. This experience gave me deep compassion for all survivors of abuse.

Soon after, I found out that I was a victim of sexual abuse perpetrated over a period of several years when I was younger. The good-and-bad thing about this was that I was unconscious. I have come to understand that even though I had no concrete memories of this abuse over the years, my body knew and had never forgotten. My body held onto the trauma of non-consensual sexual activity. The most horrible thing about that experience was that I wasn’t able to do anything about it. I had no choice. My journey to grow through the pain, anger, sadness and shame associated with sexual abuse has been deep and real and I am still trying to be with this in a way that is conducive to my personal healing and growth. It’s hard to forgive someone taking something so intimate from me without my permission. The hardest thing is to let go. Who would I be without my pain? I had my power taken from me and had no choice, and now I feel as though I have to give my power away in order let it go. It’s as if my pain gave me some kind of power, it gave me permission to be angry. I mistook the energy of anger for empowerment. The truth is that I still carry some anger and confusion from this time which occasionally affects those around me when it leaks out. When I suffer so does everybody else. Even though I think I am the only one carrying that pain and that its all mine, it actually impacts those around me in many different ways. It is a complicated situation and my journey from trauma to well-being still continues.

Over the course of my 24-year hairdressing career I got to work at many fashion weeks, won some awards at competitions and, was the hairstylist and colourist of choice to some actors, models, musicians and other celebrities. I worked on photos shoots for magazines, fashion labels and, at some major events. All of this I enjoyed immensely when I was younger. I ended up living on a treadmill of overworking and partying hard to blow-off steam.

Around the time I was 30 I had a car accident. The car I was driving was written-off. In hindsight I now understand that this was a warning signal to slow down. I missed this important message at the time, and kept on living at the same speed.

And so while I found myself continuing to work astronomical hours for myself (and party with just as much effort), part of me knew that something had to change. So it did, I met the right person at the right time: a wonderful therapist and I began my healing journey. This therapist supported me for years. The work was not easy, let me tell you. It was one of the most challenging times in my life. At that time my lows were very low and very scary. I suffered from regular, debilitating anxiety and panic attacks, severe body symptoms also popped up and, I needed many trips to the hospital and doctor’s home visits. At my lowest point I felt only the tiniest bit of life force left in me and I thought “That’s it. I’m going to die.” The realness of reflecting on my death filled me with terror. Holding this level of terror was itself toxic, and I got worse.

The first sign of relief was when, for the first time in my life, I cancelled all my clients and said “No!”. I focused purely on my own well-being. I was determined to heal. This was my journey into my own Dark Night of the Soul; it was the bottom of the descent in my heroine’s journey and was scary as fuck. Looking back on that moment I now see that the only way out was to go through. There was no skipping this step. During this time, I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with me because I had all kinds of body symptoms. Then I went through a phase where I felt other people’s body symptoms – pains, dizziness, heartburn, chest pain and, back pain. This was a head fuck. I was so riddled with fear I found it so difficult to leave the house. Some days a big goal of mine was to make it across the road. Some days I couldn’t achieve that goal. It was a really weird time for me. This experience opened me up to the world of medical intuition and provoked me to work out what I really needed in order to heal. What the doctors could not explain made me feel stupid or like a hypochondriac. I had a couple of horrible experiences when my doctors were dismissive and without compassion. One doctor said “It’s all in your head”, another doctor talked about me like I wasn’t in the room, and her opinion was filled with his negative judgments of my experience. This irritated and annoyed me and drove me to find my own answers and explanations for my experience by exploring outside the medical (allopathic) model for my healing. It is the combination of my circumstances and passionately made decisions throughout my life that have led to where I now am in this moment.

I discovered I am more than my mind and body. I have a deep soul and a meaningful spiritual life.

It is the entirety of my being that led me to become a registered holistic psychotherapist and counsellor, and internationally registered coach. I have studied yoga and meditation over several years, travelling between my home in Australia and a yoga school in Thailand, and then more recently undertaking a 660-hour Master’s in Bio Medical Meditation Therapy & Allied Health. I have balanced the rigorous and scientific biopsychosocial work of this 660-hour course by engaging in some robust and experiential trainings run by The Foundation for Shamanic Studies (Asia). To continue my exploration and commitment to growth, I have began my practitioner training in Somatic Experiencing in Melbourne 2022, which is a alternative therapy aimed at treating trauma and stressor related disorders like PTSD.

The common thread throughout my life is that I have always loved making people feel good and creating great experiences for them. For years I saw myself as transforming people’s lives through hair. I will never forget the very particular look on my clients faces when they saw their own reflection – I had the pleasure of witnessing them fall in love with themselves. I loved that part of my work and knew then that part of my mission was complete. I feel the same sense of fulfilment when I work with people to resolve their pain - I love exploring pain and together (e.g. with my clients) finding a way to relieve their pain and suffering.

You might remember earlier on this “About” page I shared my love of music. For years I explored my embodiment through music, dancing and gymnastics. In 2018 this life-long love affair led me to begin DJing. I enjoyed playing at a few festivals in Australia and even one set over in Thailand, but mostly I played at various venues and special events in Sydney. I still do DJ events, however I am particular with where and when I play. In the coming years I feel pulled to explore the relationship between music, movement and healthy, embodied self-expression in new ways – watch this space.

I am a passionate woman that loves to love and have fun in what I do. I finally worked my way to being the co-creatrix of my healthy, beautiful, supportive, empowering & securely-attached relationship I share with my gorgeous partner.

I love animals of all kinds and have both cats and dogs. My home is between Canberra and Sydney. I have set up and am director of The Trauma and Well-Being Centre. This is the place of my in-person practice and is across the road from Westfield Woden.